A raspy cover of Brown’s classic ‘This is a Man’s World’ blasted through my headphones as we started on the long road from the Inner Terai valleys to Kathmandu for the last time. The lyrics couldn’t have been more appropriate in that moment as I watched the women that have acted as mothers, aunties and sisters for the duration of my stay here, huddled together and devotedly waving the jeep off until we were out of sight. On this patriarchal and mostly agricultural turf, yes it is inevitably still a man’s world, but Surkhet would be nothing without a woman or a girl.
The time I was fortunate enough to have in West Nepal has left me in awe of its women and their strength. Those that strive to earn a living are some of the most physically determined on Earth. They chip away at rocks, carry firewood in wicker baskets up hillsides, thresh crops with their bare hands and walk miles to purchase stock for their local market stalls. For many of them, beneath the layer of strenuous labour also comes the responsibility of motherhood. They cook for their families’ in sweltering kitchens, they scrub, kneed and rinse piles of laundry under taps or at the river and spend their down time trying to better their children’s education by helping with homework. They do all of this – and more – with a remarkable gracefulness and optimism that radiates from them like the sun.
Before arriving in Surkhet, I had preconceptions about how isolated life might be at the host home. While I can’t speak for the district as a whole, in this community there was actually a noticeable closeness between the women. The way they wondered in and out of each others houses – borrowing utensils, helping with infants or simply asking what/when we were having our dinner felt comforting and I started to imagine them being tied to each other by an invisible, but unbreakable chain. If there was ever pressure at one of the links, they would group together to support one another like sisters.
The week leading up to our departure from Dashrathpur was hectic. Like the other teams, we shifted around our schedule to ensure we could do as many workshops as possible before leaving the community.
I am so grateful to Bhagwati and Bhwana, two of the mentors in Global Action Nepal’s ‘Sisters for Sisters’ group, for their cooperation, not only in that last week, but throughout our time here. At just 23 and 18 years old respectively, they exude everything that ‘Sisters for Sisters’ stands for – confident, ambitious and capable young women, leading the pathway for other girls to follow. I have some peace of mind that they will continue to drive activities for the little sisters and use our handover materials to support the next cycle of volunteers.
The generations of women I’ve crossed paths with may appear unlike the women in my life physically, but if I look beyond the accustomed dress and glossy black tresses – we actually share a great deal. The rituals they complete each day demonstrate perseverance and determination to move forward, without complaining, but instead comforting others with their patience and love along the way. When the time came to hug the aunties goodbye, I felt I was honouring more than just the work they do to keep the wheels spinning in this community, but recognising the spirit in them that is also in my grandmother, mother, sister and me.
The first day back on UK soil was even stranger than I’d anticipated. I’ve returned to some changes – political uncertainty, the introduction of new speeding penalties and reconstruction work in my kitchen – but apart from that life has a remarkable way of ticking along like clockwork. Amidst what seemed an ordinary scene with family at the breakfast table, I sat there feeling detached and let my mind wonder on trails back to Surkhet.
“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” – Nelson Mandela
A wise friend summed it up perfectly with a quote – as she always does – and it had me feeling more reflective about my time in Nepal. What a gift it’s been to have seen strength and femininity intertwined in such a way that it’s made me even prouder to be a woman. To have seen them walk with the weight of the world on their shoulders, oppressed by patriarchal cultural norms and education barriers, but somehow manage to make it look like wings.